Being about the minds of 12 year olds

I would like to lodge a formal complaint against the editor of Vocabulary Workshop, Level C. Is the word "abut" really necessary to the vocabulary of a 7th grader? And do you realize how much valuable instruction time you will take from teachers when 12 year olds are required to read this word aloud?

Now, I am not a sexist, but I'm going to go ahead and say that a man was responsible for this.

Thank you, Sadlier-Oxford, but composition class provides enough entertainment without your help.

Recently I challenged my students to come up with the longest word they could think of, and Carly produced this gem:

"Bastardization!"

Radio was onto a good thing when it came up with the 7 second delay.

Into my short, violent fit of coughing, a student asked, "What does that mean?"

"I don't know, but my mom uses it all the time."

All the time? I was too busy being impressed to be shocked. Off of the top of my head I couldn't think of any occasion where I could use the word, let alone with frequency.

Lesson learned. I provide the words from now on.

"Can anyone give me a sentence using the word 'bludgeon'?"

"Tiger Woods bludgeoned the golf ball."

I tried to explain to Jackson that "to hit with a club" did not mean what he thought it meant, and further prompted him, "Tiger Woods hits a golf ball with finesse. Bludgeon means the opposite. So you might say..."

"My dad bludgeoned the golf ball."

...Or maybe we could just move on from vocabulary.

But branching into research on the origins of American food didn't provide the intended focus.

"Did you know that someone once bought a Twinkie for $5000?"

"I wish I was that person!"

"I wish I was the person that sold it."

"I ate a Twinkie once."

"Should've saved it. Then you'd have $5000."

"Could a Twinkie really survive the nuclear apocalypse? If I covered myself in Twinkies, could I survive the nuclear apocalypse?"

Good thing these 12 year olds have an adult like me to keep them focused on the task at hand.